i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
