I CAN MOONWALK!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize