Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
