God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
