This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
