i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
They have beer where we have blood.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
