Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
