He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
