goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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