Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
