Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
