I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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