Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
