I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
