You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
