Are we in a gay sports bar?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize