You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
