Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
