I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
