i would punch a child for taco bell
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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