I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
