her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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