Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
