Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
