Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
COCAINE IS GR8
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