We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
