There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
