we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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