Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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