i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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