If that was your dad, he is hot
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Text me some of your sweat
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
