Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
