chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
