on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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