Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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