when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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