just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
