I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
