...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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