You work out of a Hotel?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
