used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
