Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize