More tranny stories later!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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