you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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