Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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