He told me they were just razor bumps!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
