just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
