I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
