if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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