never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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