11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
false alarm, still single
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