we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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