I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
