I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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