her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
