I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
