his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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