What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
