How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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