You really coming over, don't trick.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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