I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
