You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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