once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
